Hi. My name is Emily, and I am a recovering binge eater. I am a recovering fat person and always will be. Sounds a little like an Alcoholics Anonymous introduction, right? I guess it is in a sense. Binge eating in its own right is as much of an addiction as alcohol or drug addiction—it destroys one’s body, relationships, opportunities, and mental health. I can say with certainty that my binge eating and body dysmorphia destroyed all of those areas of my life and more. It quite literally destroyed me from the inside out.
I started gaining the weight my freshman year of college after two devastating heartbreaks and ended up developing severe anxiety and depression. Eating junk food was my one and only “coping” method. I could see myself gaining the weight and destroying my body, so I stopped looking in mirrors. When I did see my reflection, I would start to cry because I felt so trapped in my body. I lost friends. I stopped being involved in college activities. I never wanted to leave my house because I didn’t want anyone to look at what I had become. Then one day in January this past year, I hit my breaking point. I had undressed and was about to get in the shower when I accidentally caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror. I froze. I stared at what I had become. And then just sobbed. That was the turning point for me. I was ready to live my life without being held back from happiness because of my weight.
I am finally ready to begin sharing my story of how I reached my heaviest weight of 316 pounds. I will also share my story of how I have come to lose 105 pounds (and counting!) since reaching that peak weight. I recommend starting at the beginning with my first blog, “Beginnings”, and reading them in order to get the full experience of what I will be trying to convey. My struggle with body dysmorphia began at the young age of 9—that is where my story will begin.
Emily Smith 
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